Prickly Heat
by Erina-chan
Summary: After a risqué run-in with the paparazzi, Ash decides he doesn't like publicity which involves his bare derriere on all the front pages and announces a sexual embargo... more inside
1. 1

****

Summary: All Misty wants is a normal relationship. It seems like every other woman in the world is off with their perfect boyfriends making mind-blowing love in libraries, parks, the poultry aisle in the supermarket, etc, etc. However, the first time she persuades Ash to try a little al-fresco loving, they get snapped by the paparazzi. So horrified is Ash by the sight of his captured in mid-motion bare bottom gracing the front of every tabloid from here to Hoenn that he immediately slaps a ban on everything you could ever consider outside the norms of sex. Misty, understandably a little aggravated by this, finally convinces him that all they need is to take a frisky holiday, incognito, so no one will recognise him...

****

PRICKLY HEAT

(1)

()()()()()()()()()()

Her red plastic shopping basket full of supplies, Misty ran back over her mental shopping list one more time. Satisfied she had all that was needed at home she turned and shuffled towards the checkout. As she passed the magazine and newspaper racks, it occurred to her that the new issue of Ash's Trainer magazine should be out. Misty turned her attention to them, skimming over the many glossy covers.

She stopped.

That bum was familiar.

()()()()()()()()()()

Ash sighed. After three years in this office, you'd think he'd be used to the glaring emptiness, the blinding glass walls, the complete and total lack of anything to do four days out of five. He had used to stave off boredom by playing with the sand in the little tray that had come with the desk, but his secretary had taken it off him after complaints from the cleaners.

Ash sunk low across the polished ebony desk and shot an accusing glare up at his computer screen, as if blaming it for his boredom. Still in his slumped form, he reached across for his mouse and moved it quickly, breaking the computer out of screensaver mode.

Having never really got on with Solitaire, Ash bypassed the games folder and opened Internet Explorer with a deft double click. Ash-Ketchum.com loaded instantly; Ash had managed to persuade his friends that it was League regulation that it be his home-page, when secretly it was a vain indulgence. Ash also found it quite amusing; one day he intended to met whomever webmastered 'his' site and inform him of a few glaring omissions and bizarre additions. _"Ash Ketchum rumoured to be favourite for the role of Legolas in big-screen adaptation of Tolkein's 'Lord of the Rings' trilogy" _was one such example of the website knowing details that Ash himself did not.

Skipping the splash page java image, Ash found himself on the news page. A bold headline proclaimed: **Ketchum Kaught On Kamera**. Ash leant forward curiously as the thumbnail picture that would take him to the full story loaded painfully slowly. A pale curve appeared against a dark background. Ash's eyes narrowed.

That bum was familiar.

()()()()()()()()()()

Misty struggled through the door of the Viridian townhouse, her arms weighed down each with a plastic bag of produce and a stack of newspapers clutched to her chest. Flippant in her state of bewilderment she dumped the bags on the kitchen floor before returning to where she had left the papers on the coffee table. She grabbed the top one and stared pale-faced at the grainy yet explicitly clear black and white photograph gracing the front page. Her eyes flickered to the headline.

****

League Champ caught with his pants down.

Wincing Misty turned to the full story on page seven.

__

Young League Champion Ashton Ketchum (22) has proved himself to be a man of the world despite his decidedly back-water origins. This singular picture (left) was taken by a freelance celebrity photographer Monday night, at around 2.30am on the outskirts of Viridian Forest. The snap clearly shows Ketchum engaging in sexual intercourse with an as-of-now mystery lady. 

Ketchum has been dating childhood friend and Cerulean GymLeader Misty Waterflower (23) for the past four years and they share a home together in uptown Viridian City. However, due to the positioning of Ketchum's arms the female cannot be identified as Ms Waterflower and the photographer did not identify her as such.

Misty glanced again at the offending photo. Sure enough, Ash's supporting arms were blocking out the vast majority of his partner's facial features. Misty scowled. It was a good thing she knew very well that the female was her, or Ash would definitely hear about it. 

__

Ketchum has taken care to present a clean image, the article continued, _steering clear of drugs and alcohol, understanding how delicate his position as an idol is. However, acts of indecency such as this will have raised a few eyebrows and Ketchum could lose much of his appeal if this event is proved to be also an act of infidelity._

****

"Acts of indecency," Misty huffed to herself, face stern as she skimmed over the remainder of the article. **"It was just a bit of fun…" **Her voice trailed off as she remembered Ash's reluctance and worry when she had brought up the idea of out-door sex. **"He's gonna be mad…" **she murmured.

****

"You're damn right I'm mad." Misty jumped at the sound of Ash's weary voice as he flopped down on the sofa next to her. **"I had to leave," **he said, in reply to her unspoken question. **"The whole place is in uproar. There hasn't been this much gossip since Bruno came out." **Ash rubbed his temples with one hand as he reached for Misty with his other arm. **"You remember that girl's you right?" **he asked, trying to keep the worry from his voice.

****

"Of course I do, idiot."

"Good," Ash sighed, relief evident in his voice. **"Everyone at work seemed to automatically assume it wasn't you. They were saying that the girl looked blonde, which is stupid cos the photo was in black and white,"** Ash growled in scorn. **"Even Brock wasn't sure. He rang to say that if something was proved he'd beat me up." **Misty pulled his head down so it was resting on her shoulder.

****

"You know what they say," she tried, blithely, **"all publicity is good publicity…"**

"You do realise this is all your fault!" Ash suddenly snapped at her, **"I still don't know what the hell was wrong with our bed."**

"There's nothing wrong with the damn bed, Ash!" Misty wrenched away from him, meeting his accusing chocolate eyes in indignance. **"It's the principle of the thing! We'd never done it! It was just an experience I wanted to share with you!"**

"People do it all the time," Ash had continued muttering to himself as if to prove he wasn't listening to her excuses. **"It's not sordid in any way! It's not illegal! Who will see us? What's the worst that could happen? Well, obviously Myst, the worst that could happen is my arse and your boobs covering every front-page in the entire universe. There."**

Misty glared at him and folded her arms across her chest. 

****

"At least there's no 'money-shot'" she reminded him, tactfully. Ash groaned and ran his hands through his hair.

****

"It's not even flattering!" he moaned. He shot a look at Misty. **"You do realise you have to release a statement saying that the girl in the picture was you?"**

"Yeah," Misty murmured, face aflame. The two sat in uncomfortable silence until Ash growled and slid the pile of paper off the table roughly with his foot.

****

"C'mere," he said gruffly as he pulled Misty back along the couch to him. Misty returned the uncharacteristic back-down with one of her own; she hugged him tightly. She frowned slightly; he smelt slightly sour from his nervous sweat. She began to feel guilty.

****

"You do realise we're never doing anything like that again."

"Well fine, if a bad experience has turned you off out-door…" Misty began. 

****

"No, I mean anything dodgy. Ever," Ash cut her off. Misty frowned again.

****

"Define… dodgy."

"Everything that isn't simple. Missionary. In a bed. Our bed," he clarified.

****

"B-but!" Misty spluttered in dismay.

****

"I can't risk anything like this again!" Ash silenced her. **"Subject closed. Right, I'm hungry."**

Ash left a speechless Misty sitting on the sofa, crossed through into the kitchen and promptly slipped on a puddle of melted chocolate ice-cream that had leaked from one of the discarded supermarket bags.

()()()()()()()()()()

****

"Misty, Misty, it's understandable that he wants to be cautious now," Violet soothed as she inspected a chip in her nailvarnish.

****

"You don't understand!" Misty raged, a stark contrast to her elegant sister. **"I thought that after over a decade I knew how obsessive he can be. He's gone too far!"**

"Example," Violet asked, eyeing her younger sibling over the mug she lifted to her lips.

****

"Well, not only did he confine us to the missionary position in our bed, well… the other night he clarified that even more. We have to be the right way up on the bed." Violet raised an eyebrow.

****

"The right way up?" she repeated.

****

"Yeah," Misty said wearily, reaching for her own tea. **"Our heads have to be on the pillows. Apparently, anything else is just… 'dodgy'…" **she groaned before gulping from her mug, glaring over the rim at her laughing sister.

****

"Aw, Misty," Violet managed as her laughter ebbed, **"he just needs some time."**

"That's what I thought but he's had weeks!" Misty complained. **"And it's not fair. I'm a woman. I have needs. There's so much I haven't experienced…" **Violet sighed.

****

"I knew Daisy was wrong to start you reading _Cosmopolitan_ at six…"

"It's like his… his… status and public appearance… has become more important than me," Misty finished, her voice growing quieter with each word. Violet gazed at her, sadness evident over her pretty features. Suddenly she snapped her fingers.

****

"If in doubt, consult _Cosmo_!" she beamed, reaching into her bag for the latest issue. The two women poured over the wonderfully glossy pages, the new-age oracle, the answer to all of life's problems.

()()()()()()()()()()

****

"Hotel Peek-a-Boo?" Ash echoed suspiciously from behind the monochrome pamphlet. Misty snaked her arms around him from behind.

****

"Yup!" she grinned, giving him a quick squeeze. **"It's a wonderful adult resort, deep in the Orange Islands. If we're careful, nobody will even know you're there!"**

"Wha, adult?" Ash mumbled as Misty spun him around and kissed him in delight.

****

"I've already booked you time off work," she continued after she broke the kiss. **"And arranged for your lookalike to wander around town centre a bit and in and out of the offices. With a bit of luck, the papers will never catch on!"**

"Meh?" Ash blinked, softening when Misty reached to give him another excited kiss.

****

"Oh Ash, you can just forget all about being the Master. You can be Ash. You can be my boyfriend. You can do whatever you want!"

"I dunno about this, Misty…" Ash said in the sensible wary tone he had picked up. Misty carried on regardless.

****

"Now I've told Brock that we're going to visit your mother for a week, and told your mother to tell Brock we're out if he calls there. Nobody will know where we are. A week of pure isolation! And once we get you loosened up…" Misty trailed her fingers down his back seductively. Ash gave a sudden smile and pulled her closer.

****

"A week with no one to disturb us! If we can carry this off, this'll be great!"

()()()()()()()()()()

Brock wiggled on the broad suitcase, dispelling his weight until Duplica could hurriedly strap it closed. The luggage released a threatening groan as Brock stood up, but remained closed.

Brock wrapped Duplica's petite form in his arms and kissed the top of her head. 

****

"Packed for sun and kinky fun!" Brock cheered, inadvertently jostling his girlfriend. **"A week with no one to disturb us! This'll be great!"**


	2. 2

**"Packed for sun and kinky fun!"** Brock cheered, inadvertently jostling his girlfriend. **"A week with no one to disturb us! This'll be great!"**

**PRICKLY HEAT**

(2)

()()()()()()()()()()

Ash moved his shoulders in violent circles – the cold line of sweat down his spine was uncomfortable. He shot an irritable glance at Misty, peach coloured sundress whipping against her legs in the warm breeze. Ash blew up his fringe and chided himself for becoming so accustomed to the milder climate of Kanto – even if he was tied down near Viridian now, he was a traveller at heart!

**"We're here," **Misty murmured, her voice low and suggestive. Ash blinked against the harsh sunlight as he looked up at the nondescript building.

**"We are?" **he asked, looking disdainfully at the grey building.

**"Mmmhmm. Isn't it discreet?"**

Ash wrinkled his nose in reply; Misty pretended not to notice and skipped towards the tinted glass doors. Ash loitered a second, dubiously looking up again at the dreary edifice, grey and looming against the cornflower tropical sky.

**"Ash!" **Misty hissed, one hand poised to push open the door. **"Incognito doesn't involve standing on the street staring gormlessly. Move it."**

Ash threw her a pained look and lugged both suitcases slowly in her general direction, while she shot coveted glances suspiciously up and down the back street as if expectant of a veritable hoard of paparazzi to stampede towards her.

**"Come on, come on!"** she ushered him inside, the heavy glass doors catching him in the heel as they swung together again. Ash knew the drill when it came to hotels – he stayed back, with his gaze focused on the luggage – no eye contact with anybody. Misty approached the grey-suited man behind the grey desk, the only warm thing Ash could see in the room.

He rolled his eyes as Misty approached him, swinging a key on a grey keychain.

**"We're in the Master Suite," **she purred, **"kinda fitting, huh?" **Ash shot her a smirk, before catching her around the back of the knees and fluidly gathering her up in his arms.

**"I'm not the Master this week, remember? For seven days, I'm all yours."**

Misty blinked and smiled, touched, warmth in her chest and behind her eyes. She pushed herself up for a kiss, more tender than one would normally go in a public situation.

**"Tstch," **sounded an unimpressed maid as she skirted around them carrying a hamper of damp towels. **"Gedda room…" **she murmured, almost under her breath.

**"Heh!" **Misty laughed, **"don't mind if we do!" **Stretching her feet down to the floor, she wriggled out of the embrace and frolicked towards the lifts, leaving her beau to manoeuvre the luggage. Apparently Hotel Peek-A-Boo thought bellboys too indiscreet.

()()()()()()()()()()

Ash had almost been expecting a room as drab, dreary and discreet as the façade of the building itself. 'Room Decadence' the looping gilt words on the door had introduced, before swinging back to reveal exactly that – a sprawling sea of purples, crimsons and gold, a carpet of plush cushions, velour and velvet as far as the eye could see.

Misty squealed and reached out to pat a fat velvet cushion. **"Oooh it's a real 'pad'!" **she proclaimed in delight, swinging her handbag off her shoulder and depositing it on a strange half-hammock, half-restraining contraption that hung from the ceiling. **"It feels so luxurious!"** she cooed as she turned to face Ash. **"It's like some sort of… sexy dollhouse! Just imagine! We can pretend it's some sort of palace. We can be Paris and Helen! Orsino and Viola! –"**

**"Drug dealer and hooker?" **Ash frowned around him, trying to set the smaller shoulder bag down and flinching as it bounced back upwards due to the padded flooring.

**"Aaaaash," **Misty turned her pout on him as she backed seductively onto a golden chaise-longue. **"Don't be such a spoilsport. How can this room not make you feel…" **She chewed on her lip lightly, casting around for the right phrasing.

**"Decadent?" **Ash offered with a smirk, scraping a gap in the desert of plush to deposit the bags. **"Awwww Misty, can't we just go home? People like us don't belong here! It's just not normal!" **Misty fingered the peach strap of her dress as if deeply contemplating her response. Ash crossed himself for the onslaught.

**"Nice weather here," **she remarked, rising lazily from the chaise-longue. Ash balked. **"Shame to waste it. I haven't felt tropical sun on my skin for a while. While we're here, I may as well… strip down and have a little… swim?"**

Ash narrowed his eyes at her. **"You're using that 'S' word thing you read in your girly magazine. It's stupid. Why is a specific letter supposed to turn me on?" **Misty gave him a wide-eyed, innocent look before drifting behind a caramel-coloured screen. Ash rolled his eyes as she moved to remove her sundress; facing the windows gave the screen a sheer effect. **"What's next? Are you going to tell me to sssssslather you with sssssssuncream?" **Ash hissed before plonking himself down on the golden chaise-longue, amused at his wit.

**"You can if you want," **the caramel-coloured shadow replied mildly. Ash cast a disapproving look around the room again.

**"Really love, this place is vile. It's worse than vile. It's where porno-movie props come to die. Let's just go home, home to our bed! I'll even… even… I mean, you can go on top, if you want to," **Ash added with the air of someone granting an immense honour. **"But you'd have to keep your top on! What if---"**

Now Misty was the only woman Ash had ever known, in the Biblical sense, and so he had nobody to compare her with. Even a normal teenaged preoccupation with porn hadn't really happened with Ash so scarred had he been from a preadolescence spent with Brock. But despite his inexperience and shyness, he truly thought his lover the most beautiful woman to ever exist; an over-idealised Classical statute come to life; perfection sans penis.

But he didn't know quite what to think right now.

**"Don't you like it?" **came Misty's voice from behind the tiny scrap of scary black leather shiny buckles squeaking tight thingy argh.

Ash exhaled. What had she done? Waltzed into a sex shop and bought the sleaziest thing on offer? The image burned itself onto his retinas, the quote, outfit, unquote, bold against Misty's naturally pale skintone. It was wrong, it was unclean – he'd have to wash his eyes out.

On the other hand, he couldn't quite bring himself to avert his gaze…

Misty shuffled from one foot to the other, uncomfortable in the prolonged silence and scrutiny. She also felt uncomfortable in the basque. She would have much preferred a pair of matching pastel undies. Besides, it's far easier to walk into Anne Summers or La Senza than a shop proclaiming itself 'SexToys R Us'. But Cosmopolitan sets the rules, and the rules must be obeyed – if anything was going to get through to Ash, it would be shock tactics.

**"What do you think?" **she prompted him again. Ash finally tore his gaze back to her face, his own slightly flushed and dewy. Misty tried to straighten her expression back from discomfort into Confident Vamp. Ash frowned at her.

**"I think you should take that thing off!" **he huffed; Misty's shoulders slumped slightly, dejectedly. Ash couldn't really help a sudden grin, pressing his lips together as she arched a questioning eyebrow at him. **"…for more ways than one…" **he finished his earlier sentence, the grin breaking out of his control.

In the blink of an eye, Misty found herself lying on a pillow-laden bed, Ash smirking as he stood over her. She smiled. When he wanted to be, the boy was good! When Ash leant over to kiss her, Misty held him there until they were forced to break apart for the necessity of oxygen. She couldn't stop smiling – it had worked! Her old Ash was reawakening, and he seemed to be better than ever!

**"Wait a minute," **Ash crawled back off the bed and stood up straight again. **"I've gotta make sure the room is secure."**

**"Oh," **was all Misty could manage, panting slightly. **"Oh. Well. Yeah, I guess that's… sensible. Yeah."**

Wading through the cushions, Ash firmly drew the thick curtains shut. Misty rearranged herself on the bed and held her arms out to him, invitingly. He shot her a distracted smile.

**"Not secure yet. Just hold that thought, love, okay?"**

Misty sighed as Ash busied himself thoroughly checking under every bit of furniture, muttering to himself, turning picture frames over and tracing all the electrical wires.

Feeling decidedly less amorous, Misty threw on one of the complimentary kimonos and reached for her magazine, only pausing in her devout reading to throw scowls over the top of it.

()()()()()()()()()()

Meanwhile, next door… 

**"Ohohoh! Look darling! A SWING! WHEEEEEEE!"**

A thoroughly excited Duplica launched herself at the restraining apparatus.

**"Now baby," **Brock chided mildly. **"Don't wear yourself out! Come and help me unpack."**

Pouting, Duplica hopped down from the device. **"Don't bother pretending," **she giggled. **"I know all you packed is stuff to go _straight _in the bedside cupboard!"**

**"Ah, but thus is the beauty of this hotel, my flower!" **Brock grinned as he tugged the zip on his suitcase. **"We can leave stuff lying around without fear that one of my brothers or sisters will pick it up! No matter how filthy!" **Brock's grin widened; Duplica grinned impishly at him.

**"Anything to drink?" **she purred.

()()()()()()()()()()

**"I'm telling you, it was ridiculous," **Misty couldn't help sniffing as she relayed her day down the phone. There was a muffled sort of silence on the other end of the line – she could only assume Violet was attempting to conceal her amusement.

**"And he was at this how long?"**

**"Oh, I'd say at least an hour and a half. He even dismantled the bedside clock at one point. And even then he was all jumpy, suspicious."**

Violet sighed. **"God, that boy needs like, therapy! And then what?"**

Misty hesitated. **"Then we… he… well…"**

**"Well?" **Violet prompted.

**"He couldn't… get the… basque thing… off…"**

There was a confused silence.

**"The… basque? Was there no… like, zip…?"**

**"Apparently not one suitably obvious for Ash. I think it's offended his masculinity. He went into a huge strop, stormed into the bathroom and he's been in the shower since." **Misty sighed deeply. **"It's pretty clear that the closest I'm gonna get to sex is peeling the complimentary mint off Ash's cheek when he falls asleep on it."**

Violet's sigh matched that of her sister. **"Well, you can't choose who you fall in love with. I think you should just leave him to his like, hour-long shower and head down to the bar. There's gotta be one, a hotel is like, a hotel. Booze is never hard to find."**

**"Yeah," **Misty said, decidedly as she glanced at the en suite door. **"I'd feel better with a little alcohol in me."**

**"You need like, something in you!" **Violet giggled. Misty rolled her eyes.

**"Okay, heading down now. Thanks."**

**"Okay baby sis, like, have a drink on me! Ciao!"**

Violet's voice was gone – back was the all-encompassing drone of the showerhead. Misty frowned as she surveyed the room. Whereas before it had been exotic and promising, it just looked crumpled and tacky. Her gaze lingered on the closed bathroom door.

**"A woman has needs," **she murmured, forcing her expression into a scowl. Scooping up the room key from the bedside table, she headed out of the door, slamming it behind her for good measure. She didn't even pause when the gilt D came loose at the top and swung from its one remaining screw, rasping against the wood.


End file.
